Solo play is nice (like, really nice), but sex toys for couples can take things to a whole new level in a relationship. Whether you’re into vibrators, dildos, cock rings, butt plugs, G-spot (or P-spot) massagers — there’s bound to be a sex toy out there that’s perfect for both you and your partner during coupled play. And, if you and your partner are in a sex rut (or if you’re not!), bringing a new element into the mix can make things extra fun and exciting.
“Mutual play with adult toys can help your bedroom experiences to evolve,” says Megan Harrison, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) at Couples Candy. “For some couples, a sex toy may be all it takes to ignite the spark they’ve been missing. For others, sex toys can be a gateway to bringing sexual fantasies into reality.”
What are the best sex toys for couples?
Finding the perfect sex toy for you and your partner takes a bit of research. It also depends on your personal preferences and individual comfort levels. Remember: Communication is an important aspect of any relationship, so before assuming that your partner is going to be OK with adding a sex toy to the mix, it’s crucial that you speak with them first.
“Open communication is essential,” says Harrison. “Not being clear in what you want can leave you both feeling awkward, insecure, or even upset. Being open-minded about your partner’s sexual preferences and desires will undoubtedly increase your intimate connection, especially if that open-mindedness is reciprocated.”
Your Go-To Shopping Guide for Coupled Play
Before you go on a grand shopping spree (I mean, definitely still do that), there are a few things you should know and take into consideration, such as price, material, lubricants, etc.
Here are a few tips from a few of my favorite sexual health and wellness experts:
- Do your homework. There are literally thousands of sex toys out there, from unicorn dildos to urethral plugs. Before you venture into your wallet for your credit card, do a bit of research. “Navigating the sex toy jungle is not as easy as it seems. For couples who are still dipping their toes into sex toys, familiarize yourself with the different sex toy categories,” says Dainis Graveris, a certified sex educator and relationship expert at SexualAlpha. “Read more about them with your partner and see what sex toys speak to you the most. If you don’t want the toy to overwhelm sensations you’re familiar with, you can start with toys that target your pleasurable zones.”
- Shop together. Shopping together can make a potentially awkward situation less awkward. (Bonus: It may lead to a hot romp afterward!) “Shopping together for the toy is also great because you and your partner(s) get to see the full array of options and, if you go to a shop in person, you can try out the different settings and options together,” says Sarah Brown, a certified sex educator with more than a decade of experience. “If you’re shopping online, turn it into a date night with wine, food, and the option for some sex and pleasure right then and there. The cool thing about shopping online is there are so many review videos and tips for how to use most products so it’s both a shopping adventure and research for future pleasure.”
- Choose quality over quantity. I know it’s hard to drop $100 or more on just one sex toy when you can get several for $30 a pop, but please think about what the product is made of before loading your cart with cheap, and potentially dangerous, toys. “Be sure to look for quality products from reputable retailers such as Lovehoney if purchasing online,” says Harrison. “All of the products they stock will be made of body-safe materials and a satisfaction guarantee with every product. If you are unhappy with the item, you can return it free of charge, even if it’s been used!”
Best Sex Toys for Couples
The Adorime Strapless Stap-On features an ergonomic design and nine powerful vibration patterns. It’s also waterproof for shower play and is USB-rechargeable, so you and your partner will never have to worry about buying batteries.
“For vagina-owning couples, strapless strap-on dildos can add some spice to the bedroom,” says Graveris. “If you’re new to strap-on sex or don’t have strong pelvic muscles, I suggest strapping the toy into a reliable and comfortable harness like Spareparts Joque, Graveris adds. “If used without a harness, insert the bulbous end inside you, grip tight,
and slip the dildo into your lady. It’s angled for pleasure and comes with a bullet vibe that’ll send your partner into a shudder of gratification.”
The Ohnut isn’t exactly a sex toy so much as it is an intimate wearable, but this little device basically saved my sex life. Here’s how it works: The Ohnut slides onto your partner’s shaft or dildo and acts as a barrier. This way, you can control the penetration depth. (This device is for people who experience pain with intercourse. I have endometriosis and painful bladder syndrome, so this wearable is perfect for me!)
You can use as many rings as you’d like—it comes with four; I usually use three. The Ohnut is also fun to use during foreplay, just lube up your partner, slide the rings on, and stroke the rings up and down. Quick note: You cannot use the Ohnuts without lube. Use a water-based lube and not a silicone lube! Silicone lube will disintegrate a silicone toy.
The CalExotics Original Accommodator (what a mouthful!) is basically a strap-on dildo for the giving partner’s face. It comes in Natural and Black and is five inches in length. “This face strap-on allows you to explore new dimensions of penetration,” says Tatyana Dyachenko, CEO, and Founder, Peaches and Screams. “It’s specially designed so you can wear it on your face, meaning you can penetrate whilst also using your tongue to stimulate the women’s clit. It’s the perfect toy for hands-free play.”
The Pure Love Portable Finger Vibrator is ideal for on-the-go orgasms. It comes in hot pink and neon purple and features a powerful, yet quiet mini bullet motor. (Which is exactly what a couple needs for some hot, discreet fun!) It’s also waterproof and USB-rechargeable, so you and your partner can enjoy it again and again sans batteries.
“If you’re apprehensive about toys, then start with something simple like a finger vibrator. They aren’t very expensive and are easy to use, making them the perfect beginner’s toy,” says Dyachenko. “Once you get used to that, you can then start adding in new toys. It’s all about experimenting to see what you and your partner like and don’t like and the only way to find that out is to try them.”
The Satisfyer Love Triangle uses air-pulse technology that’ll give you a mind-blowing orgasm. (I have one, and it’s now one of my top three faves.) It’s also app-controlled, making it perfect for coupled play. Like the majority of Satisfyer’s toys, the Love Triangle is stylish, USB-rechargeable, and waterproof. It features 11 pressure wave intensities, 10 vibration settings, and also comes with a 15-year guarantee and a fabric storage bag.
Zumio is unique in that it uses rotation instead of vibration to deliver pinpoint stimulation. It also has a precision SpiroTip that rotates in circles to help users reach orgasm. The Zumio is perfect for both coupled and solo play and is available in four models: Zumio X (circular rotation pattern/more intense), Zumio E (elliptical rotation pattern/high intensity, Zumio S (circular rotation pattern/less intense), and Zumio I (elliptical rotation/diffuse stimulation).
“It’s quiet and compact, but still has a lot of power,” one Amazon reviewer writes. “My wife and I were looking for something as strong as her Hitachi Magic Wand that didn’t get in the way. This is the first device that has been able to replace it.”
The We-Vibe Rave is an app-controlled couples’ toy that has 10 preset vibration modes. (It also gives users the option to create a customized pattern via the We-Connect app.) If you’re in a long-distance relationship, the We-Connect app allows the giving partner to control the vibrator from anywhere in the world via their smartphone.
“For heterosexual and same-sex couples, you can start exploring couples’ Vibrators,” says Graveris. “The We-Vibe Rave is an app-controlled vibrator that works to hit the G-spot for vagina owners or P-spot for penis owners. You can incorporate one or two during partnered play sessions by giving your partner control over the toy’s different vibration patterns and modes via the toy’s buttons or the We-Connect app.”
The We-Vibe isn’t just for G-spot/P-spot stimulation, either. Graveris recommends using the toy on your partner’s clit if the toy is too rigid to bend.
The LELO Sona 2 Cruise isn’t exactly a couple’s toy, but it can definitely be used as one. I know because I’ve used it as such, several times. A word of caution: This toy can be pretty intense, so you’ll want to warm up before using it. (That’s true for any sex toy, though. But, seriously, this thing has some power behind it.) The LELO Sona 2 Cruise is a clitoral sucking vibrator, but it can be used on the head of a penis or on the testicles. (It’ll give your partner a new, tingly sensation!)
All of LELO’s toys are super-chic and come in a stylish box. Each LELO toy also includes a satin storage bag. The Sona 2 Cruise is rechargeable, features 12 pulsating settings, and is made of ultra-soft, body-safe silicone.
The Best Sex Toys for Long-Distance Couples
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, finding new ways to be intimate can be difficult. So, if you feel like your hand is about to fall off from manual stimulation or you’re worried that your partner is glazing over during your sexy speeches, you may want to consider investing in sex toys that were designed for long-distance couples.
“There aren’t many options for long-distance couples to be intimate while apart and there’s only so many times that sexting, phone sex, or being sexual on video chat works before they lose their excitement,” says Nate, the founder of Lasting the Distance, a long-distance relationship advice website and community. “There is also a level of connection or physicality that they can’t replicate. Sex toys, especially those that can be paired together, are a great way to enhance an LDR couples intimate and physical connection.”
The Max 2 is an innovative and realistic male masturbator. It can be controlled by the user’s smartphone or with their partner’s smartphone, no matter how many miles are in between. The Max 2 is pretty advanced as far as masturbation sleeves go — users can control the vibration settings (low, medium, high, pulse, wave, fireworks, and earthquake) and the contraction settings (subtle, mild, deep) via their smartphone. What’s even cooler? When paired with the Nora Original Bluetooth Rabbit Vibrator, The Max 2 will respond to your movements and send feedback to your partner!
“From Lovense we [Nate and his wife Lolo] recommend their couples set Max 2 and Nora,” Nate says. “This is a great set for long-distance couples wanting to test/introduce connected sex toys into the bedroom—they’re also the most affordable couples set,” Nate continues. “Max 2 uses a vibrating motor and an air pump to emulate vaginal contractions, these contractions increase as the speed at which Nora is inserted, increases.”
Similar to the Max 2 and Nora set above, the Onyx+ and Pearl 2 can also be controlled by your partner. Each toy in this set is USB-rechargeable and includes a setup manual, authenticity card, and USB charging cable.
“From Kiiroo, we recommend their Onyx+ & Pearl 2 couples set,” says Nate. “The Onyx+ is an automatic stroker that uses contracting rings rather than vibrating motors. These rings contract separately in up and down motions to emulate stroking/intercourse,” Nate continues. “The speed in which they contract is determined by the speed in which the Pearl 2 is inserted. The Pearl 2’s vibration modes can be controlled by using the touchpad on the front of the Onyx+.
Quick note: the products listed above are LGBTQ+ friendly in the sense that each toy can connect to another (i.e. two Max 2s, two Noras, two Onyx+’s, and two Pearl 2s).
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