This mom faced online backlash when she admitted to breastfeeding during sex
When you become a parent, finding time for intimacy can be more than a little challenging. You either avoid it, forget about it, or get super creative in finding ways to enjoy a little hanky panky — especially in the early days of new parenthood. But one woman takes creativity to a whole new level by, uh, er, multitasking during sex.
Tasha Maile is a popular breastfeeding advocate whose videos and photos have garnered millions of views on YouTube and Instagram.
Recently, one of her videos from 2015 went viral, a little number entitled “Do I Have Sex While Breastfeeding?” In the video, Maile admits to (you guessed it) having sex while breastfeeding at the same time.
“I remember the baby sleeping on me, breastfeeding, and my ex-husband and I would have sex from behind. There’s nothing bad about making love, at all, ever. So enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your fantasies.”
Look, we’re not here to judge and condemn new parents on any solution that allows both baby and parents to be happy. But it’s a little…weird? Uncomfortable? For most of us to imagine this scenario going down. Or even mustering up the desire to try it. If you’re a little disturbed or confused by Maile’s admission, you’re not alone. Like, whose “fantasy” is it to be doing it with your baby literally attached to you? Is that a thing?
Since the video became so popular again, British daytime talk show This Morning had Maile on as a guest to defend her stance on doin’ the dirty while feeding her baby.
Maile says her baby is very attached to her (which, yeah, it’s a little baby). She says, “If your baby is sleeping, I think we all have sex. There’s no secret about it, I think it’s totally fine.” Which is true! New parents definitely squeeze in sex when the baby’s out cold. It’s what we do. But come on, actively breastfeeding your baby while engaging in sexual intercourse simultaneously is a lot different than going, “Hey, honey, little Henry is asleep, you wanna get frisky for a few?”
After her appearance on This Morning, people took to the show’s Facebook page to let their feelings be known:
“Most mothers who breastfeed are just normal women who are feeding their children. Why make it a taboo subject? I would question why any woman would admit to this!”
A fair point. It’s so hard for moms to feel comfortable breastfeeding–at home and in public–that stories like this just add fuel to negativity surrounding breastfeeding.
“I breastfed all f my children and I could not think of anything worse than having sex at the same time! Could there be a more unromantic time than when you’ve got your child feeding off you!”
Moms tend to feel all “touched out” during the breastfeeding days, which is why this whole concept isn’t very appealing to most.
“Surely they could have both waited until the baby was finished. How would they like it if someone decided to have sex right there on the dinner table whilst they ate?”
“Whilst they ate” is making us giggle. She’s not wrong though.
When it comes to how you feed your child, we’re all about the “you do you” mentality. Whatever works best for you and your child is all that matters. Same with sex. Who are we to judge the sex life of new parents, especially? But Maile’s stance on comparing breastfeeding during sex with sex while the baby is sleeping is, arguably, problematic. So is her use of the word “fantasy.”
But you do you, mama. Some of us can’t even do it with our dog in the room, let alone with our baby physically attached to us.